I recently got in trouble for neglecting my garden. I say “in trouble”, but really it was my husband’s disappointment in me letting another project and dream slip through my fingers. I am a textbook procrastinator and a dreamer. These two characteristics stir up a recipe for disaster when it comes to accomplishing things. I can come up with a list a mile long of things I need to do, but tend to get discouraged easily and give up. My garden is typically a reflection of my state-of-mind. A couple of years ago I attempted gardening for the first time. My husband was away for a few months and we had no children, so it was a no-brainer – I could do this. I did well for a while, until I didn’t keep up with the weeds.
“I’ll do it tomorrow after work” I would tell myself.
“A few weeds will be easy to pull on the weekend.”
Until it became “where on earth did my beautiful garden go?!”
This year was the same deal, we had a ton of rain and I let the weeds multiply until they were knee high. My husband was mowing and saw the mess, which caused him to become concerned. I felt so helpless. I had let him down, and since I spent a lot of time planting the garden with my daughter, I really felt like I had let her down, too. I drove home from a stressful day at work completely in tears and wondering what was wrong with me. My sister called right about the time I was thinking to myself that I have no one to talk to that would understand. My tears dried up and we talked about other things which got my mind off my spoiled garden (like my adorable nephews). Then, I got at text from my good friend (who also has a garden) about…of course…canning carrots.
“Seriously?!?!” I thought to myself, “of all times to hear how well her garden is doing. She must have oodles of carrots that she picked and is canning them to feed her family in the winter and she probably has mason jars in her pantry and she probably spent all day out there weeding and tilling and polishing her garden!!!”
Then, after me asking almost sarcastically how the rest of her garden was coming, I learned that she had bought a bulk of carrots at the store. Man how I learned a lesson in making assumptions and the toll it takes on us!
The comparison game
It cripples us as women. Often times, I am a Big League player at this popular game as I scroll through my Facebook feed and see these oh-so-popular jealousy invoking posts:
Laundry done, ran a mile, fed my children a wholesome breakfast, cleaned the house, harvested a basket of organic vegetables, labeled and organized my rustic looking pantry completely furnished with mason jars, did a craft with the kiddos, and had time to read…all before 8am! #firstgarden #supermom #rustic #organized #seizetheday #noexcuses
or
Had a fabulous time in {insert exotic vacation spot here} with friends! #yolo
or
Saturday selfie! Don’t mind the messy house 😛 #messyhairdontcare #mombun (of course, the house looks completely spotless except for a pair of flip flops on the floor in the background)
These split-second attention grabbers captivate us women. We stop, pause, and instantly analyze our morning, our vacation, and our hair (that is legitimately messy and still has a bobby pin and a glob of baby food in it from yesterday). I can even recall a couple of years ago being extremely pregnant and cleaning around the house as I watched the CMA awards. I was dusting and sweeping like a mad person in the living room, Carrie Underwood on the screen. “I definitely should be wearing more makeup…and curling my hair…oops! I skipped a spot by the couch…” As quick as the wind, these thoughts come into our heads.
Raw Footage
Why do I tell you all this? Because I want to start a movement. I want women to feel like they can be REAL with one another and stop putting on a facade of “look at this awesome thing I did!” and begin developing true relationships that are based off real struggles and gardens that look like this:
And that’s AFTER I attacked the first section with a weed-eater with full out emotional mom fury!
Here is what my garden looked like when I first planted it (which is ideally what I want you to see):
And here is after the recovery process:
For Pete’s sake, I am a blogger with the word “Tractor” in my logo – surely I have a perfect garden, right? 🙂
Wouldn’t it be freeing to know the struggles of those you typically put on a pedestal? Maybe then, instead of comparing our gardens to theirs, we can learn how to tend to it properly. Together.
I want to challenge you to be real with someone – they need it and so do I!
Share your “raw footage” moment with the hashtag #RealHousewifeofClintonCounty
(only put your county…silly!)
Also, the photo of the jars is NOT my pantry – it is a lovely stock image of someone else’s lovely pantry! 😛 (thanks, Pexels!)
